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Friday, January 25, 2008

8 points. Stunned. Overwhelmed. Devastated. It felt exactly the same when I got my PSLE results 4 years ago. It felt exactly the same when I got back my Chinese results last year. I know many people must be cursing behind my back as to why am I sad with 8 points. I don't deny 8 is a good score. But that's not what I want. I want to stay. I want to be with my friends.

I wanted to cry when I got to know my results but my tears just can't seem to fall. I guess I was just overwhelmed by the setback that I totally felt nothing. It felt as if I was inexistent in this world all together.

Many friends and teachers comforted me. Encouraging words, a pat on the back, called or sms me. Though I may not show it, I really appreciate all of it. Many friends wanted to "go on strike" or "write petitions" or "letters". I really thank all of you for being there for me.

I'm prepared for the worst. Not that I want to leave HC, but I just have this bad feeling about it. Perhaps I'm just not fated to be in this school. It has been almost 6 years. I had always wanted to get into HC. I got in. But now I have to leave.

Something from Jana's blog which brighten up my day...

"So many people would do so much to see you smile.. Don't disappoint them. You can do so much better than this."

And a song too ...

When you're close to tears remember
Some day it'll all be over
One day were gonna get so high
And though its darker than December
What's ahead is a different colour
One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day
We'll remember the days
We were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through
And at the end of the day
We'll remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We'll remember it was me and you

'Cause we are gonna be
Forever you and me
You'll always keep me flying high in the sky of love

Don't you think its time you started
Doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
'Cause even the impossible is easy
When we got each other
One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day
We'll remember the days
We were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through
And at the end of the day
We'll remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We'll remember it was me and you

'Cause we are gonna be
Forever you and me
You will always keep me flying high in the sky of love

High, high, high, high...

All I can do for now is to hope for the best. I will try my best to stay. I assure everyone. I'm not going to leave that easily.

The world will not stop revolving even when I'm sad or frustrated. Life goes on.

I will stay...

(for you...)

{5:31 PM}