Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Just one more day to go! Totally doesn't feel like it's promos at all (to me at least). Somehow I don't feel a tinge of stress or anxiety. Wonder if it's good or bad. =/ Till this very moment, I'm sort of done with Econs revision (read through my 15-page notes on the whole of year 1's work. Haha. That's almost equivalent to one chapter of lecture notes. LOL).
Papers all in the morning. Damn! No time to do last minute revision like what I did for blocks in the morning. >.<
Sometimes I wonder if I'm over-confident of myself. Are my expectations too low for me to spur myself on? It feels as if I'm not putting in the amount of effort that I'm 'supposed' to be putting in. Feels like I'm too easily satisfied with the results I'm getting. Doesn't sound like the Lennis I know of in the past at all.
The 4 years in CHS made me learn the negative aspect of being a perfectionist. Used to aim for nothing other than the top and one bad fall made me gave up that thought. Sometimes it gets tiring when one sets his mind on something for too long.
During this period of less than a year, I can see myself change. Totally. I'm taking my expectations ever so easily like never before. Coming to think of it, when have I ever thought that an A would suffice? Not until now I guess. Sometimes I ask myself, where have my motivation gone to?
But the fact that I'm thinking of this does show that to a certain extent I'm aware and I do care about my expectations I guess. Weird. Sometimes I really don't know myself.
Is this me or is it not? Or maybe it's someone else. Or perhaps I'm not Lennis anymore. Lennis never have such low expectations. Or maybe it's the other side of me. Sometimes people do have split personalities don't they?
Anyway, in case some of you reading this are thinking if I'm going mad, I'm not. Haha. Just some of the stupid thoughts that were racing in my mind. Yeah. Sometimes I don't know what the hell I'm thinking.
{11:22 AM}