Don't know what's wrong with my knee. It just seems very tight. >.< Had much difficulty training for the past few days. Fortunately there wasn't training today. Phew! My shin is also painful but I guess it's from the impact of the drills I did on Monday.

Bing Han is seriously damn sick. He's like only 170++ but he can dunk. -.- I feel damn weak now. >.< Must train harder!

Read Econs notes this morning for a straight 1.5 hours. Totally dumbfounded by the elasticity concept which is needed for the ILP. Seriously screwed.

Oh... And there's this person from the neighbouring bench that always come and disturb me. LOL! Feels so freaking gay. >.<

Physics test tomorrow.................. Zzz......

{9:20 PM}

It's only the first 2 days of the week and I'm sort of worn-out. Trainings, trainings and trainings. 2.4 during PE this morning. Maintained my stamina from last year. 11.30. Not too bad since I haven't really been training my stamina.

So today's Zhenyang's birthday! Happy birthday!!!! =D Celebrated it after our run in the canteen with people smashing cakes on one another (I didn't smash or got smashed. Am a civilised person =P). Then all the non-History people started to crap while the History people went off for lectures. Wilson is freaking sick. >.< And evil!!! Sabo me!!!

Oh. And my hair is screwed after the run. Haha. Seriously screwed. I looked so spastic with those hair bands!! >.<

Training today was fun! Okay, maybe only fun when we were playing match at the end of the training. Has been some time since the last time I got my touch. We won the match! Haha. With 7 people though. =P But nonetheless, we won! And did I mention that I played as spiker? =D

Tutorials!! Ahh... Better get started on them. >.<

{9:26 PM}

Registered for JAE. HC, R, A, N, SA, NY. Most probably will end up in my third choice if everything fails.

Realised I haven't been doing much throughout the weekend. Fac CIP and training on Saturday. Spent most of the other time stoning and emo-ing.

Thought a lot in the past few days. I used to tell a lot of my friends when they disappointed and lost "Life's like that. Sometimes things just don't happen the way you want it to be. Life goes on."

This time it's my turn. Lost. Disappointed. Though I have that line in my mind, it's always easier for the person who says it. I have come to realise the true meaning and feeling of it. Life goes on.

Was listening to "Collide" by Howie Day and this line hit me...

"Even the best fall down sometimes"

Even the best fall down, needless to say about myself when I'm not even the best.

{4:39 PM}

8 points. Stunned. Overwhelmed. Devastated. It felt exactly the same when I got my PSLE results 4 years ago. It felt exactly the same when I got back my Chinese results last year. I know many people must be cursing behind my back as to why am I sad with 8 points. I don't deny 8 is a good score. But that's not what I want. I want to stay. I want to be with my friends.

I wanted to cry when I got to know my results but my tears just can't seem to fall. I guess I was just overwhelmed by the setback that I totally felt nothing. It felt as if I was inexistent in this world all together.

Many friends and teachers comforted me. Encouraging words, a pat on the back, called or sms me. Though I may not show it, I really appreciate all of it. Many friends wanted to "go on strike" or "write petitions" or "letters". I really thank all of you for being there for me.

I'm prepared for the worst. Not that I want to leave HC, but I just have this bad feeling about it. Perhaps I'm just not fated to be in this school. It has been almost 6 years. I had always wanted to get into HC. I got in. But now I have to leave.

Something from Jana's blog which brighten up my day...

"So many people would do so much to see you smile.. Don't disappoint them. You can do so much better than this."

And a song too ...

When you're close to tears remember
Some day it'll all be over
One day were gonna get so high
And though its darker than December
What's ahead is a different colour
One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day
We'll remember the days
We were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through
And at the end of the day
We'll remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We'll remember it was me and you

'Cause we are gonna be
Forever you and me
You'll always keep me flying high in the sky of love

Don't you think its time you started
Doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
'Cause even the impossible is easy
When we got each other
One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day
We'll remember the days
We were close to the edge
And we'll wonder how we made it through
And at the end of the day
We'll remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We'll remember it was me and you

'Cause we are gonna be
Forever you and me
You will always keep me flying high in the sky of love

High, high, high, high...

All I can do for now is to hope for the best. I will try my best to stay. I assure everyone. I'm not going to leave that easily.

The world will not stop revolving even when I'm sad or frustrated. Life goes on.

I will stay...

(for you...)

{5:31 PM}

Day 1 with timetable. Met some of the tutors. Maths wasn't too great. Can't be any more unlucky. 21 Jan so index 21 answer first question. -.- GP tutor was funny. Did a questionnaire which was quite fun but lame at the same time.

Dance session in the afternoon. Sort of get the whole dance already. Yay! But I still can't remember all the moves. >.<

First high jump training today! Had my first track training in my entire life. David said I jumped like crab (crap). LOL! What to expect from a first-timer anyway! >.<

IVLE account haven't activate! Anyone who have not activate can accompany me to go activate tomorrow...

PE and training tomorrow. I'm going to be so dead. So dead.

{10:01 PM}

Haven't been updating my blog very often since school started. Really busy with training and training and training. >.< And this is only volleyball training. Imagine the upcoming days where I have to train for high jump too. *faints*

I'm feeling the pressure and responsibility (of some sort) on me for the team. Frankly speaking, getting a top 4 position this year isn't easy (not to look down on everyone but I feel that's reality). People are pinning high hopes for me but I cannot really do much. Many asked why do I train so hard for. So... Yeah... here's the answer.

Watched this play "Hungry" in school yesterday with OG! Though the play wasn't really very interesting and understandable, I could still somewhat get the idea of the whole thing. To most people who watched it, I guess there's only 1 thing that they're sure about - the message of the play is that life's like shit. Haha.

Frisbee was fun! And I didn't know I am pro in it. Haha! =P

Went to KAP Mac for supper. Wasn't really at my best state of mind and body that day due to my 3 consecutive days of training. Was really stoned for the whole time. >.< Didn't really do anything much other than talking but times with OG was fun nonetheless. =D

Woke up at like 12pm today. Training from 3 to 7 (Yes ... again). Am now very tired.

Collect money tomorrow! Yay!!

{9:41 PM}

Has been quite some time since the last time I posted. So here I am, trying to do up a post AS REQUESTED. Haha.

Many many things happened during the last 5 days. Flag was very nicely done up. Yipee! =D Skit was not as screwed up as I thought it would have been. Made a fool of myself during the skit but I guess it's for the fun of it.

Time-attack on Thursday was super fun. Ran around the school and outside to play the games. Getting insider's information of all the clues and stations. Yeah. Pretty tiring though. Wargames!! Athena won! But I still love Artemis!! Who's the bomb king?! ARTEMIS!!!

Weekend was very slacky. Didn't really do anything. Lectures today! One word. BORING!! Wrote a letter to my mortal in the high school library this morning. Patricia was saying that my letter looked so much as if it was written by a girl. Thanks la! >.<

Don't think my angel would get to see this but no matter what, WHERE THE HELL IS MY LETTER!!! KNS! =X LOL

Only one lecture tomorrow! Yeah! But have got a lot of stoning to do since I'll be free from like 11 to 2. Okay. It's better than lectures. =D

{9:57 PM}

First time meeting my CT-mates and seniors. I must say they are actually quite friendly and nice. I guess everyone is just feeling bored since it's the first time most of us meet each other and don't really know one another very well. Icebreakers included some game which I think called 'animal mania' or something like that. Pretty fun. XD

Went to gym during CCA exhibition. Was pulled by Gavin. >.< Then played ball until about 7pm. Totally shagged when I reach back home. And super duper hungry that I could eat the whole cow~

CT shirt and flag designing to be done. CT item to be prepared before Friday. And today's already Wednesday! Sing a song? Dance? Musical? Skit? I don't know. >.<

I'm missing 38 ... =(

{8:44 PM}

It just feels really uncomfortable when you have something bottled up, dying to say but just couldn't do it. Whenever I want to do something, somehow I didn't have enough courage to do it. There's always something stopping me in my mind. Sometimes I feel that I was all alone. The feeling is terrible. Perhaps I just deserve to be like this. I blame myself for being so timid. I don't want things to be stuck like the way it is.

I love you.
I really do.

{10:50 PM}

Tomorrow's last day being together as an OG. Though it had only been just a matter of days we've been together, it doesn't really matter to how much we are bonded as an OG. All of us may not be in the same class, but we share the same spirit of Hwa Chong. It had been a wonderful time. My orientation in Hwa Chong will not be so fun without all in 38.

Rock on 38!

{10:14 PM}

Sometimes people tell me I'm clever, smart, etc. But I feel so dumb now. What should I do?!

It's tough to hide.

I feel so weird.

It's so torturing. I want to be myself!

But I lack the courage

{7:20 PM}

I don't know if I've done the right thing by saying all those stuff. I just feel so uncomfortable. Perhaps I should let nature take its course...

{12:05 AM}

3 days of school. 3 days of fun. Frankly speaking, on the first day, I never thought orientation was so fun and didn't expect to get along so well with my OG. Well, I was so wrong. Totally enjoyed orientation (besides all those super boring academic talks).

Games were fun. Did I mention wet and dirty too? First day had this lame game (I think it was "minority report") where u have to be the minority. Frisbee "Quidditch" style! Scored 1 point (tyco-ly). Haha. I still don't know how come we lost the crawling maze by so much. >.<>.<

OG mates were wonderful! Made many new friends in just 3 days. Saw many of my ex-pri school schoolmates. Coming to think of it, it has been 4 years since the last time I saw them. Didn't expect many of them to still remember me. =D OGL was very nice! Always bring food for us. And she's super duper 'high'.

Well, this is my first time doing a mass dance and it's pretty fun though I didn't really like some of the moves. Got a wonderful dance partner for both sessions of dance, right Jiayi?! Haha! Cheers and songs sessions also super high for everyone. All of us were like jumping and swaying while singing the songs.

OG dinner at Yujie's house! Pretty far. Had pizza and played many lame games like bang bang bang and black magic. Always have someone not knowing the trick behind each game. Haha. Saw Yanjie, Chris, Nic and Yuai while going back with Jiayi and Ming Shiang. Reached home at around 11pm but somehow I don't feel tired at all.

OG outing at East Coast tomorrow! =D

{12:54 AM}

01/01/08!!! Happy New Year!!!!! Marking a brand new chapter of my life. 2008 resolutions... Make many new friends, have fun, keep in contact with secondary school friends, get good grades. Ya. And many many more.

Hwa Chong! Here I come! Weeee...

{10:48 PM}

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